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The Underdog

I don’t know about you but when I’m watching any sporting event where I don’t have a vested interest I tend to root for the underdog.  Seriously, and as I search my heart for a reason I come up quite empty.  Truly I don’t know…the favorite may be more dedicated; may have done more push-ups and laps, and yet?  Yeah, maybe it’s the Rocky Complex at work.  Little guy does good at the dedication part, gives his full body to the exercise, and overcomes a tremendous mountain.  Yet…Rocky still lost?  He did.  And so they made another one where he won and Apollo Creed lost.  Then they made one where he lost again halfway through, but with hard work and rededication he beat Clubber Lang.  And eventually he trains the kid of the guy who once beat him, lost to him, lost to Clubber Lang (I think, it’s getting a little fuzzy here), and died at the hands of a nasty Russian dude.

But let’s get back to the part where his future wife was butt-ugly and he lost.

My son Grant was watching Venom the other day.  Now in all honesty I have no need to watch Venom.  I’m sure the cinematography is outstanding, the girlfriend is super hot, and the character is one I’ll sympathize with as I brush my teeth later.  But I did kinda watch it while rolling change, cleaning out the lint filter in the dryer, ungunking my water faucet, and trimming those pesky toe hairs that intertwine in my sock ends.  And guess what?  The bad guy is like super bad (wants to destroy the human race or some bullcrap), and he is enormous.  And Venom, although not an altogether nice fella himself (the anti-villain I suppose) has no shot at saving the human race.  And the mortal of the story (protagonist) loses his girlfriend because he’s a schmucko.  Now the bad guy (antagonist) realizes he can’t possibly lose to the good guy (Venom), which kinda proves to be his undoing.  Venom wins, the human race survives…roll credits.

It was like the same thing when the rabbit raced the turtle.

We collectively tend to root for the underdog.  Some psychologist somewhere is spouting off some crap about the Underdog Complex…the idea that the Underdog lives in all of us, and when the underdog wins we feel a sense that we too could actually win.  We could marry up, career up, looks up, and eventually be deserving of the up place we’ve climbed too.  Then of course, we’ll wanna up again.

So what’s up with all the Superhero movies in the last twenty years or so?  Is Hollywood truly out of ideas?  Right now Venom is all the rage, with every woman in America waiting with fantasies intact for the arrival of Aquaman.  And the idea that two rival comic book producers are behind all this…with the cash register as the big winner.  Here’s five movies I wanna see Hollywood produce:

Madam Termite-Woman (eating wood with a vengeance)

Captain Pine Cone Returns (from hard to soft in time)

Sir Platypus of Pompay (evolution smevolution…he’ll kick your ass!)

Shrew and the half-eaten worm (he knows it keep growing anyway)

Licking Puppy Hordes (the bad guy’ll be giggling too much to kill off mankind)

There was Superman…then another Superman.  Then…like Batman, Cat Woman, Spiderman, Captain America, another Spiderman, another Batman, Deadpool, Fifty Shades of Grey, Ant Woman, Wonder Woman, Batman versus Superman, The Fantastic Four, Obamacare, Legion of Doom, another Deadpool, Justice League, another Spiderman, Venom, another Spiderman, and then Aquaman.  If the world was in this type of dire need…I mean really needed saving this f’ing much…wouldn’t it have made CNN?  Fox News?  The View?

Ah shit…I forgot the Green Hornet…

What if the underdog is the underdog because they can’t pass by a McDonald’s drive-thru without at least a cheeseburger and fries?  Seriously…what if they spend their time watching U-Tube videos about cats that dance, dogs that prance, Granny’s who fence, and weddings where they never commence?  What if they skip the work-out part because Hulu is having a binge weekend, and this weekend it’s re-runs of Friends?  What if they’re just not good enough to beat out the favorite?  Seriously…there was no way Rocky Balboa was gonna beat Apollo Creed.  No way that kid on the raft was gonna beat out the shark in Jaws.  No way Spiderman was gonna beat out the dude on the hovercraft with that green shit that was awesome sauce!!!

Crap…The Incredible Hulk…

Someone asked me the other day who my favorite superhero was, and I think they actually thought we were going to have a compare and contrast discussion on the strengths and weaknesses of said superheroes.  They really did.  When I said my dog because he learned to stop shitting on the floor and humping the baby they wandered off to more intelligent conversations.

Here’s my five favorite movies of all time:

  1. Shawshank Redemption
  2. All Quiet on the Western Front.
  3. Silence of the Lambs.
  4. Much Ado About Nothing
  5. Jaws.

Sleepless in Seattle, The Birdcage, The Lincoln Lawyer, and All the President’s Men get honorable mention.

Here’s five movies I regret having suffered through:

  1. Fifty First Dates
  2. The Notebook
  3. Water For Elephants
  4. Waterworld
  5. French Kiss

Have a great end of December and enjoy the end of 2018!!!

 

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